1. hmm i don’t think anyone likes music as much as me


  2. i found a bathroom on campus that’s hotter and quieter than hell should be


  3. Maybe I should be an architect. Maybe I should be a large concrete pillar for halloween.


  4. I sang flagpole sitta at karaoke last night because it’s a good song and I’m not far from entering the 20th year of my midlife crisis


  5. the downward spiral only looks bad from the top tbh it’s not bad once you’re inside


  6. worst case scenario for this semester is that I find god in a cup of coffee

    best case scenario is that he’s just as unhappy to find me


  7. Shogo Sakai - Memory of Life

    plays: 22


  8. There’s people in my room and I need to jack off but they’re watching ellen degeneres and I can’t remember the last time I saw a cute girl and didn’t wish for her to murder me


  9. How do I get the meme font on my tombstone


  10. how many cappuccinos and bible passages do i need before i break through to the other side and find myself alone on a spaceship circling a dead star until my food supply runs out


  11. nothing makes me feel more immaculate than praying while blasting extended versions of popular new wave songs


  12. i went to some christian youth group thing with a new friend and this week’s topic was “why is god angry?” next week’s is “why are we all bound to the same godless fate?”


  13. it’s 1 am and my drunken roommate is walking a quarter mile to go smoke weed in his car



  15. That night I went to bed laughing. I laughed for an hour. I am still laughing. Push philosophy and theology to their ultimate and what do you wind up with? Nothing. Nothing exists. As I said earlier, there is only one way out: seeing it all as ultimately funny. Kabir, who I quoted, saw dancing and joy and love as ways out, too; he wrote about the sound of “the anklets on the feet of an insect as it walks.” I would like to hear that sound; perhaps if I could my anger and fear, and my high blood pressure, would go away.
    — Philip K. Dick (from The Golden Man)